burden or blessing?

This post isn’t anything exciting—it’s just something I needed to write for me.

As I type this, I’m waiting for my Advil to kick in, then I’m going to bed. I always say the Devil works harder on Thursdays. I have a great time at Bible study and fellowshipping with my ladies, but the start and end of the day is usually hectic—even more so when Mr. Remi decides he doesn’t need a nap. That kid is something else. I don’t know what to do with him. The past two days he has been a straight running NUT! I’m exhausted just keeping up with him. For starters he has been talking…a lot. That in itself has me all emotional. He’s not just saying the usual bites, milk, daddy, mickey, ball, etc…he’s actually carrying on conversations. With himself mostly. Yesterday, he spilled water on the couch and said “Uh-oh, made a mess!” Um, What? Or later when his recording of Mickey Mouse stopped playing he said  “Fix it” and started trying to press buttons. Then, instead of cuddling on the couch with me like normal, he flopped on the ground, yanked the blanket off of me and said “Let go!” No, not my baby! He’s 19 months old. He is supposed to still cuddle and let me love on him. Or better yet, how about how he was being sweet {so I thought} and rubbing my arm then plucked an arm hair and said “Eww, gross!” Where has the time gone? I talk a big game about soaking it all in and writing down all of the sweet/funny things that he does, but am I really in the moment?

When J is out of town, Remi and I get a lot of alone time. It’s me doing all of the diaper changing, bathing, cooking, and sacrificing hot showers for myself. As a mother, I sometimes wish I had help. As a wife, I sometimes wish Jarrett could spend more time at home. But you know what? I am so blessed. God has given my husband an innate desire to provide for his family. He does that to the fullest extent and then some. So what it all boils down to is this: will I view these things as a burden or a blessing? Will I whine and complain about how wild Remington is or will I thank God for his creative mind? Will I grumble about not having a 50/50 workload as a parent or will I make the most out of the time together with my child? I know one day it won’t be just the two of us. Will I be fully submerged in this moment, today? The one where he decides he’s sat on the potty long enough…I hurry to his room to get a diaper only to come back to a tiny little turd and puddle of pee on the bathroom rug. Lovely. Guess what? I didn’t get mad. I laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was just cute because Remington was so concerned. He says “uh-oh” about everything and that was definitely one of those moments.

oven mitt

Yes, I really caught him putting on an oven mitt when he heard the oven timer go off. I have no doubt that he would have attempted to open the oven. I can’t let this child leave my sight!

Motherhood is not glamorous. It’s real, it’s messy, and it’s one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. I’m having a hard time explaining my thoughts, so I’ll leave you with these wise words from a dear friend:

You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Breathe and notice. Smell and touch them. Study their faces and expressions. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today.

–Paige Mayes



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