January is a month of birthdays in our family: aunts, cousins, siblings, parents, etc. My husband’s dad, brother, and grandmother celebrated birthdays on the 13th and 15th. In no way am I trying to say that they are unimportant, but I want to shine the light on another birthday.
Enter this crazy guy–my step dad, Jon. This particular birthday is so important to me because it celebrates the man that does so much for those around him. When I first met Jon I didn’t realize that he and my mom would eventually get married. I was 6 at the time and thought he was just my mom’s friend. My parents had divorced a few years earlier, yet the thought that this man could one day be my step dad never crossed my mind. You see, I was a die-hard daddy’s girl. I thought my dad hung the moon and wanted to be around him every chance I got. It didn’t matter if he was drinking beer and watching the football game or heading off to the rodeo for a team roping competition–I wanted to be there. Despite the unsavory company, my mom allowed me to spend time with my dad, and for that I will be forever grateful. However, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I really started to understand that my dad had all of the fun while my mom and step dad did most of the raising. In no way am I intending to make a dig at my dad. I love him. But my step dad has given me something that only he could–security. Stability. The things a young girl craves. Together, he and my mother built a beautiful home, gave me a baby sister, and raised me up through my horrid teenage years. Seriously, this man is a saint. He has spent his life sacrificing so that my sister and I could enjoy a blissful childhood. We never had to worry or want for anything. He has worked countless long hours as a train engineer. You know how New York City is the city that never sleeps? I used to think my step dad was the man that never sleeps and worked for the company that never sleeps. I have no doubt that his job has given him a lot of grief and heartache. Over the years he had to miss birthdays, holidays, family gatherings, funerals, etc. He would go to work on little or no sleep, come home and do things around the house, help a family member work on a car, fix the tractor at the farm, grab a bite, rest his head, and do it all over again. As a teenager it didn’t phase me. I didn’t realize that he was making the sacrifices for us–for me. I knew he loved me. He told me so. And deep down he knew that I loved him too, but it was different. It wasn’t evident. I wasn’t very nice to him and I regret that with all of my heart. I guess I was still hanging on to my dad. I was so busy trying to have a relationship with someone that was so distant that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I wish I could go back…to be a little girl again and to realize how much this man adored and accepted me as his own. It seems so ironic now that the thing I craved the most–love–was there all along. He could have played favorites with my sister and I. He could have turned his back on me when I was disrespectful and undeserving of his love, but he didn’t. Now, I’m too big to sit on his lap or ask him to come have lunch with me at school. I can’t take back the way I acted during my years of rebellion. I can’t go back and take pictures of us on Christmas morning with the gifts that he paid for. I can’t go back and have him walk me down the aisle at my wedding–one dad on one arm, one dad on the other. But I can say thank you. Thank you for always supporting me and for being my biggest fan. Thank you for telling me that I was pretty, (except when I got my nose pierced! ha!) and smart, and a good mom. Thank you for helping me with my DIY projects and for coming over just to hang a mirror on my wall. Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for Jarrett, Remington, and I. But most of all, thank you for being the dad that you didn’t have to be. I love you. Happy birthday!
What a difference a week can make! I feel like I have a new lease on life. I have been so blessed this week. Remington went back to Mother’s Day Out and was SO happy to be there! I love that he is so easygoing with it all. There were kiddos screaming and crying every where and he just walked right in his classroom and said “HI!” He definitely likes to make his presence known!
My Women’s Bible Study on Thursday was such a blessing to my heart! I enjoyed seeing ladies that I hadn’t seen over the Christmas break. We started a new study called For Women Only…good stuff. It’s a study of the inner life of men by Shanti Feldhahn. As a married woman and mother of a son, I hope to gain Godly insight into how my guys operate. I can already feel God tugging on my heartstrings with this one. I’m not going to sugarcoat it–some of that information is hard to read, but I highly suggest it if you are looking for a new book or study.
Pits & Peaks
- Taught Remington how to make me a cup of coffee: insert K-cup, close top, press button. He’s pretty much a pro. I’m pretty much a proud momma. :)
- Had a sophisticated date with my sweet boy at his Mickey table in the middle of our living room. We’ve got to work on not putting our feet on the table before he starts dating! HA!
- Lost my temper on Thursday morning while trying to get Remi & myself ready for Bible Study/MDO. So frustrating when I do that, but I definitely got knocked down a few levels when I got to Bible Study. Why is it that the Devil is always so active in the mornings?! He definitely gets me where it hurts sometimes.
- Had a little Bridal shower planning partay for one of my girls.
- I got all of my Christmas decorations boxed up. I’m not verifying whether the boxes are still sitting in my living room floor. ;)
All in all it’s been a good week. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I’m blessed.
Until next time,
Let me tell you, life with a toddler is something else. Alone time is illusive. Sometimes I think I’d give my left foot for a few minutes of uninterrupted privacy…without the constant “Momma, Momma, Momma” ringing in my ears. Here lately I can’t even brush my teeth without being tugged on. Remington is 19 months old now and loves to brush his teeth. LOVES it. Seriously. He will fuss “teeeeeeeeeef” & point at the toothbrush until I give in. No matter that he has “brushed” his teeth 4 times today already. Good hygiene…guess I can’t complain! I think Remi is going through a Mommy stage. He has been so very clingy. Some days I am just worn out. I think I’m in a funk after all of this Christmas-ing. I finally had my last Christmas celebration on Friday. It was so wonderful to catch up with my girlfriends, but dragging out Christmas really took a toll on me this year! We have been going, going, going since well before Christmas. I feel like I can take a deep breath now..and try to find a place for all of our new gifts! Despite my grumpy attitude today, I am content. I know I am blessed and highly favored. I think I’m going to start posting pits and peaks. You know, the highs and lows of my day or week. Here goes:
- I had a date night with my husband! OK, we sat in the deer stand and went to see a movie, but that’s quality time in these parts!
- I had a Christmas get-together with three of my best girlfriends. Emily, Megan, Layna and I have been exchanging Christmas gifts together since MIDDLE SCHOOL! How cool is it that the tradition continues each year? We have all gone in different directions, but I love how our friendships are always able to pick up where we left off.
- I attended a baby shower for one of my friends from high school. Ate some delicious food, caught up with some old friends, and ooh’ed and ahh’ed over some sweet baby girl clothes.
- Remi said “hold me” for the first time. While I was trying to get ready of course, but talk about melting a momma’s heart! What do you think I did?! Mommas learn to put on earrings (with backs) and mascara one-handed, you know!
- Remi got one of those “outside toys” for Christmas. The plastic Little Tikes kind with the slide. Yeah, this bad boy has a slide, basketball net, and soccer/hockey goal. I put it together ALL BY MYSELF yesterday. I was so proud! Remi totally approves of it! He loves sliding and is already breaking all of the playground rules. :)
- Jarrett and I had the HUGE honor and privilege of attending a gender reveal party for some very dear friends of ours. These precious friends lost their baby girl in June due to a car wreck. By the grace of God, they are in the healing process and are now expecting a baby BOY! We couldn’t be more excited for their family and had so much fun celebrating with them. God is so good.
OK, those were lots of peaks! I think I could have made a post just about that. Y’all, this is what happens when I don’t even have a spare moment to think! It all comes spilling out in the blog post.
Until next time, K
I really have no idea what I’m doing here. I never thought I would start a blog–heck, I didn’t even know what a blog was until I discovered Pinterest. Really? Really. So for those of you that are reading, here goes. I named my blog thisheartneeds for many reasons. One, it’s a partial line of a song. If you’ve never heard of Telecast you should definitely look them up. I’m pretty sure they disbanded years ago, but I had a wonderful experience at church camp worshipping with them live. I Just Need You is the name of the song I pulled from. It’s always stuck in my head as a wonderful reminder that the things I often say I “need” aren’t true necessities. I really only NEED Jesus. He supplies the rest. Two, My husband (we’ll call him J) always jokes that I don’t know the difference between wanting and needing something. I do, honestly. I’m not as bratty as he makes me out to be! It’s just that I really NEED that Starbucks latte to get through the day. KIDDING! Three, as a mother and wife, sometimes I just need a break. A break, and a cup of coffee, and to go to the bathroom by myself. Oh, and for someone else to sweep the floors and clean the toilets. Can I get an Amen?! It’s not that I don’t LOVE my family and my job as a homemaker/mom. It’s just the fact that I am human. I am selfish. I fall from God’s grace daily, and sometimes I just need to regroup. That’s what this blog is about; admitting my failures of the flesh and seeking God’s perfect will for my life and for my family. Sometimes, I won’t have a lot to say. Sometimes, I’ll be so full of words that I’ll start to ramble. I’ll try to keep it coherent.
Until next time,