forgetfulness

I’ve always struggled with forgetfulness. Before you think Oh, you’re too young for that, hear me out. You can ask my parents, my husband, and my friends. Just don’t ask Remi because he might say “Helllpp!” since that’s one of his favorite things to say. I know my “bad memory” is annoying. It’s inconvenient and at times can put others in a bind. I try to be proactive about list making and filling out my calendar, but then I forget to look at these things. I’ve tried setting reminders on my phone, recurring alarms—just about everything! When I was younger I forgot to do my homework and clean my room. Now that I’m {trying} to be a responsible adult I forget essential things like putting gas in my car. In my defense, I’ve only run out of gas once when I was 16 years old. My gas gauge didn’t work and I knew I was getting “low” so I was on my way to the gas station. I found out just how far I could safely go on a tank of gas that day! It drives my husband crazy that I forget something as simple as this. He says “You’re the one that drives your car every day! I can’t remember for you every time you need gas.” He’s right. I do drive my car almost every day. I also tend to not look at how much gas is in my tank.

WHY do I do this? No idea.

God has been revealing some things to me, though. He’s been tugging on my heart and I’ve been wondering if my forgetfulness is truly “bad memory” or selfishness. Do I forget to do things because I know other people will do them for me or remind me to do them? That is certainly not my intentions, but like I quoted on Facebook the other day:

We tend to judge others by their behavior and ourselves by our intentions.
Albert F. Schlieder

So, although I don’t intend to forget to do things, it’s what I actually do that matters.

Maybe it’s my own sinful, selfish nature. Perhaps I’m too focused on my own thoughts. Could it be that I truly just have a bad memory? I don’t know. Today, I’m blaming it on muscle memory. Sunday lunch at J’s grandparent’s house is a tradition. We’ve gone to lunch more Sundays than not since we’ve been together. While Jarrett was heading to work earlier today, I loaded Remi up in the car and headed to lunch with the family. When I drive, I tend to pray, sing, think, and let the road take me where it will. Sounds real safe, right? I was wondering what we were having for lunch today {their home cooked meals are always awesome} when I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed Remi had already fallen asleep. Of course, it was right as we were turning onto the road to the house. I drove a little ways until I remembered that lunch was not at the grandparent’s today. It was at J’s parents as he had just reminded me before I left. I began to get angry with myself. How hard is it to remember something as simple as where you’re driving to? Obviously it’s hard for me. Then, I started to laugh to myself. It was a little bit amusing. Lunch is always a “come when you can” type thing so I wasn’t worried about being late. In fact, as I corrected my direction, I drove a little bit slower. I wanted Remi to be able to squeeze every extra second out of that little nap. I just enjoyed a little bit of quiet time to myself before I reached my destination.

I don’t want to be that girl—the one no one can count on. Do I fail to remember things because they’re not important to me? Or maybe because I’m simply too “busy” at the time to just do whatever needs to be done? The truth is: I still don’t know the answer, but I’m praying about it. I’ve never forgotten to feed Remi or change his diapers, so don’t worry about that. It’s just the little things that I’m learning may not be so little to others. Does anyone else have any experience with this? I feel like I’m the only person that struggles in this area. Instead of feeling determined to remedy my problem, sometimes I just feel helpless.

Maybe I won’t forget to work on this. Pun intended.

 

Until next time,

Kelsey

 

P.S. Thanks to all of my awesome readers {mainly friends and family} that listen to my complaining & corny sense of humor. I love you all! :) As a reward, I’ll leave you with a sugary sweet picture of Remi napping in the car today.

 

remisleep

yes, that’s a goldfish remnant on his shirt :)

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One thought on “forgetfulness

  1. Pingback: DIY lasting manicure tutorial | this heart needs

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