the secret to marital success

When I think back to my childhood and recall how badly I wanted to grow up, I cringe. Here I was—full of wonder and freely dreaming about what I thought life had to offer me: a kid without a care in the world—and I wanted to be an adult. It seems crazy to me now, but I remember being so enchanted with the idea of being “in charge” of my own life. I’ve since learned that there is only ONE person I want to be in charge of my life and it’s definitely not me. Praise Jesus, it’s not me. I often wonder how my life would have turned out had I taken a different path. Could a decision such as choosing a different college really affect me? In this case, yes—I probably would not have started dating my husband if I had gone off to school. Maybe I’m the only one that really thinks about these things but I find it fascinating. How much of our life is attributed to our own doing vs. what God is doing? I recently heard a sermon that dealt with giving God the glory and accepting his timing. We are so trained to want to “make things happen” and be go-getters that we never slow down and question what He wants us to do. I know I’ve learned the hard way that I only want to be in the center of God’s will for my life. I want to learn to sit back and wait for his perfect timing that way I never have to question whether it was God that made it happen or myself.

So back to being a childhood dreamer…

I often saw my life going in two directions. I liked to play each part out in my head and imagine what my life would be like if:

A.) I married a country boy, we fell madly in love, and lived in a mansion on a hill in Texas. We would have some type of farm or ranch and I wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Hilarious, right?

B.) I moved to the big city and had an awesome job where I got to be a part of the fashion world and work with hair and makeup. I would be backstage at fashion shows and would have an assistant bring me Starbucks every morning. My closet would be filled with  Louboutin. Also hilarious.

Insert laughter.

So now that I feel like I’m starting to see the direction of where my life might be going {not my will, but Yours} I realize it’s nothing like what I imagined as a child. From where I stand, my life is looking a lot more like Plan A—without the mansion and lack of manual labor. It seems that my time in the “city” {I’m kidding..Longview is hardly a city, but we do have a mall!} will be over soon. I predict that we will move to my husband’s hometown and start to build the life that he has always dreamed of: cows, chickens, a garden, blood, sweat, and tears. Ok, maybe I added the blood, sweat and tears part for dramatic effect. But still…I can see manual labor in my future and it makes me nervous. And sweaty. I don’t like to sweat. ;)

However, I’m learning to love what I have. “Go with the flow.” or “When life hands you Louboutins lemons…” God’s working on my heart and lately gratitude has been the lesson. Well, there have been a lot of lessons, but this blog post would go on forever.

This week I “helped” my hardworking husband in the garden. That man never slows down. When he’s not working he’s working. So anyways, we stood in the garden and I mentally ticked off all of the impressive things I had done that day:

1.) Went on a walk. It was hot outside. Jarrett jogged most of the time and pushed the stroller. I just tried to make it back home without having a heat stroke.

2.) Went swimming. Actually swam some instead of laying on a raft. Tried to impress Jarrett with my lung capacity by holding my breath for 60 seconds. I think he counted fast. He likes to let me win sometimes.

3.) I’m standing in a garden. That counts for something.

I snap out of it as Jarrett tosses me an onion to place in the bucket and says “Hey, what was that thing you told me the other day when I brought you Starbucks?”

“Uh, ‘You’re speaking my love language’?”

“Yeah. That’s it. This is mine right here.”

“Us standing outside, sweating, playing catch with onions while I get bit by mosquitos is your love language?”


Lord, what have I gotten myself into now? Just being outside makes me itchy. My fingers swell up and I start sneezing at the first sight of grass, trees, pollen, sun…you name it. Of course, I married a man that wants to be outside all day. Of course. Looks like we will be buying stock in Benadryl when we move to the country!

And now for the highlight of my husband’s day: tricking me into riding shotgun so I have to open the gates.gategetter


I guess that’s the secret to our marital success: more Starbucks and time in the garden. :)

What’s the secret to your marital success?

Until next time,



Working Man by NewWorldSon

P.S. I can’t get enough of this song! It’s been playing on repeat!

One thought on “the secret to marital success

  1. Haha! This sounds like my marriage. He’s the gardener, I’m the coffee drinker. We struggle to speak each other’s love languages, but we are learning, as you are. We have found that just listening to each other really helps a lot! Amazing how much you can learn about your spouse when you stop talking!


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