Remi-isms

Convo 1

(looking at a bruised banana that I promised him would still taste fine)

“I don’t think I trust you, banana…”

Convo 2

Remi: Ruby spent the night with Honey? Away from you? I don’t like that idea! Babies are not big enough to stay with Honey and Poppa!

Me: But you used to stay with Honey and Poppa when you were a baby.

Remi: Well, that’s not good either! Well, it can be okay when mommies are sick but it cannot be okay if mommy is not sick!

Convo 3

“I never knew little babies would be so much trouble.”

Convo 4

“If you ever need anyone to vacuum, just ask me. I’ll do it for you. Cause I’ll do anything for you. And for the floor…to get that floor clean!”

Convo 5

(Remi feeding Ruby)

“Mom, quit distracting her!!”

Convo 6

“Ruby, sometimes I think you cry just to get some attention!”

Convo 7

“I was a baby and then I grew up a little bit and then when I was 3 you told me, ‘This is the earth. This is where you’re gonna live…in Longview.'”

Convo 8

Me: I need you to do something for me real quick then you can go back to your hiding spot.

Remi: This is not a hiding spot! It’s a pouting spot!

Convo 9

Me: What did you do with it??

Remi: What?

Me: The spanking spoon! Where is it?

Remi: I haven’t touched it in like 40 days!!!

Convo 10

(I had convinced Remi that Spring Break was for spring cleaning. He was gung-ho for a day or two and then when I asked him to do something…)

Remi:  I thought it was Spring Break…

Me: It is.

Remi: Then why am I not getting a break?