Remi-isms

 

For some reason it feels like I just posted one of these…then I realized I hadn’t posted any Remi-isms since September. I guess life moves faster once you have a kid in school. At least that’s how it feels!

Convo 1

“I’m just looking around Longview because I kinda miss it.”

Convo 2

“Awww! She’s just so cute. I can’t stand her cuteness!”

Convo 3

Me: Why do you feel the need to tear stuff up?

Remi: I feel the need to tear stuff up because I’m a man.

Convo 4

(I was talking to Jarrett about how Remi had taken a nap the previous day)

Me: He was knocked out yesterday!

Remi: My daytime spirit was knocked out of me!

Convo 5

Me: Go potty.

Remi: I’m gonna hold it til I get to the deer stand with Daddy.

Me: No you’re not. Go potty.

Remi: I gotta stretch. My little arms and my little legs and my–

Me: I’m about to stretch out my hand on your little bottom!

Remi: (giggles) That sounds funny but it doesn’t feel funny!!

Convo 6

“Sometimes, at night, I do quiet poots.”

Convo 7

“I’m gonna call my arm pits, “pits.” Actually, I’m gonna call them “pits of joy.”

Convo 8

Remi: Honey was acting like my parents and not my grandparent.

Me: How?

Remi: Because she didn’t give me everything I wanted. She usually does. Honey wouldn’t let me have Max but Cheri bought it for me. So now Cheri’s being the good one. She was never ever like that.  (**for the record, I know this makes him seem terribly bratty but if you know his Honey and Poppa then you know he’s just preaching the truth- he usually does get what he wants! and as for his Aunt Cheri, the “good one” he’s referring to is because she always picks on him and acts silly!**)

Convo 9

[when Jesus was born..] “Did they have a Walmart? Chick-fil-A? Sprite?”

Convo 10

“I wish the pantry was my bedroom.”

Convo 11

“Sometimes you make me smile when I look at your face.”

Convo 12

“Ruby, you’re never gonna get to drink coffee– until you’re 14!”

Convo 13

Me: God gave you each other. Siblings are built in friends.

Remi: Um…Mom…we’re not the kind of kids you’re thinking about. We’re the kind of kids that like to play by ourselves.

Convo 14

Me: NO Ruby!

Remi: What does she have?

Me: Scissors!

Remi: OHHHH those are one of the final touchdowns for spankings!

Convo 15

Remi: Please do not hug me like that.

Me: Remington Lange, I am your mother. I brought you into this world & I can take you out of it! (How’s that for a movie line? ha!)

Remi: (not missing a beat!) No you can’t! And plus, Jesus brought me into this world!

Convo 16

Remi: How old are you, Momma?

Me: 26.

Remi: Then you should be in heaven by now.

Convo 17

“I thought this medicine was going to taste good but it actually tastes horrible. Some medicine just tastes horrible. Horrible, I say!”

Convo 18

“Momma, you just made me feel love in my heart.”

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Remi-isms

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So sorry if some of these are redundant! I found them in a note from April in my phone and didn’t think I ever used them! I really need to change the picture for the Remi-isms posts since he’s in Kinder now and this pic is at least 2 years old…one day!

 

Convo 1

Me: I’m worn slap out!

Remi: That’s a bad word.

Me: Slap?

Remi: Yeah.

Me: Oh…sorry. I didn’t know.

Remi: It’s ok. Everyone makes mistakes.

Convo 2

(while shopping for Ruby’s birthday party a few months back)

Me: Let me know if you see anything with palm trees or flamingos.

Remi: PALM TREE!

Me: Where?!

Remi: I was just trickin’ you!

Me: That wasn’t nice!

Remi: But it was funny!

Convo 3

Remi: That kinda looks like palm trees.

Me: You’re right. It does.

Remi: Hey! We should get that just to shake things up at Ruby’s birthday party!

Convo 4

“My little head is full of smarties!”

Convo 5

(after Jarrett hung up the phone because of a bad connection)

“I can’t believe he hung up on his own son!!”

Convo 6

(I’m sure you’ve heard the story of me having to bring Remi a second lunch to the school because he decided to eat the one I packed him for breakfast. I sent the second lunch in a brown paper sack. He pulled the paper sack out as soon as he got in the car that afternoon..)

“For goodness sake, I put this in my backpack sneakily so my teacher wouldn’t throw it away!”

Convo 7

“Mrs. Townsend, I’m so tired. I really want to go home and snuggle up in my sheets on the couch and watch Netflix on the TV. Please.”

Convo 8

(said to my brother-in-law, Dakota, while he was spraying off the carport with water)

Remi: You better not even think about spraying me with that, KoKo!

Dakota: What are you gonna do about it?

Remi: I’m gonna tell my Momma!

Dakota: Oh yeah? And what’s she gonna do?

Remi: She’s gonna give you a spankin’!

Convo 9

Remi: Momma, I wanna sing you a new song so you’ll remember it.

Me: After dinner, ok?

Remi: No, I can eat and sing.

Me: You can’t talk with your mouth full.

Jarrett: Mamaw told me a long time ago that you’re not supposed to sing at the dinner table. You know why?

Remi: Why?

Jarrett: You’ll marry a crazy woman. I should have listened to her.

Remi: Daddy! You think my mom is crazy but she’s not!!

Convo 10

(on the phone with my mother-in-law, aka Honey)

“Honey, I’m gonna go where no one can hear our words.”

(I follow him in his room to see what on earth he’s talking about)

“Ummmm…Mom, can you give me and Honey some privity?”

Convo 11

“…And thank you for Gladewater. And Longview. And for letting us live where my Daddy grew up. Amen.”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Me: Remi, are you ready for the Shark Week party?

Remi: Yeah! Text that!

Convo 2

“Ruby! Are you naked?! You sly dog!!”

Convo 3

“I got a lot of (dance) moves back in the day…when I was four.”

Convo 4

“I’ve seen all the Scooby Doo’s. Pretty creepy, eh?”

Convo 5

“Thanks, Mom. You make my life feel a little bit better.”

Convo 6

“Momma, you have to tell me if you go somewhere. That scares me. I’m not trying to be mean, OK?”

Convo 7

(sent to me by my sister-in-law, Audrey)

“Aunt Audrey, I have to ask you sumfin’. One day, will you buy me some gum? That would be very helpful to me.”

Convo 8

Remi: What’s Wylder’s dad’s name?

Me: Billy.

Remi: BILLY?! And Jodi?! That sounds like a cartoon!!

Convo 9

“Did you know Dottie got stung by a stunk?” (translation: My mom’s dog got sprayed by a skunk! haha!)

Convo 10

Remi: Do I have bones in my tummy? (I did my best explanation)…then how does my tummy live like this?

Convo 11

Remi: Mom, my movie’s not starting.

Me: Remington….

Remi: OH. It’s starting now. I know. You actually have to give it a minute!

 

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(looking at a bruised banana that I promised him would still taste fine)

“I don’t think I trust you, banana…”

Convo 2

Remi: Ruby spent the night with Honey? Away from you? I don’t like that idea! Babies are not big enough to stay with Honey and Poppa!

Me: But you used to stay with Honey and Poppa when you were a baby.

Remi: Well, that’s not good either! Well, it can be okay when mommies are sick but it cannot be okay if mommy is not sick!

Convo 3

“I never knew little babies would be so much trouble.”

Convo 4

“If you ever need anyone to vacuum, just ask me. I’ll do it for you. Cause I’ll do anything for you. And for the floor…to get that floor clean!”

Convo 5

(Remi feeding Ruby)

“Mom, quit distracting her!!”

Convo 6

“Ruby, sometimes I think you cry just to get some attention!”

Convo 7

“I was a baby and then I grew up a little bit and then when I was 3 you told me, ‘This is the earth. This is where you’re gonna live…in Longview.'”

Convo 8

Me: I need you to do something for me real quick then you can go back to your hiding spot.

Remi: This is not a hiding spot! It’s a pouting spot!

Convo 9

Me: What did you do with it??

Remi: What?

Me: The spanking spoon! Where is it?

Remi: I haven’t touched it in like 40 days!!!

Convo 10

(I had convinced Remi that Spring Break was for spring cleaning. He was gung-ho for a day or two and then when I asked him to do something…)

Remi:  I thought it was Spring Break…

Me: It is.

Remi: Then why am I not getting a break?

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Remi: Momma, I gotta secret. You can’t tell anybody. I was sleepy at school. I missed my Momma & Daddy.

Me: Awww that’s so sweet! We missed you too!

Remi: (snuggles up next to me & sighs) I’m glad I just have my underpants on and nothing else.

Convo 2

“I think I just broke my elbow and cracked my knee! For real!”

Convo 3

Me: Are you going to drive Ruby around when you get a car?

Remi: YEAH! To the beach! Or maybe Target.

Convo 4

“This is gonna be greater than chocolate milk! Actually, I love chocolate milk very much…”

Convo 5

(Ruby laughed and coughed at the same time)

Me: What are you doing, Ruby?

Remi: She’s getting some energy in her throat.

Me: Oh?

Remi: No, Mom. For real.

Convo 6

Remi: I’m a wet blanket, Mom.

Me: (laughing uncontrollably) Why are you a wet blanket??

Remi: Because that’s what [Aunt] Cheri says!

Convo 7

(Remi taking a bath)

“Belly button, do your job to get bathed!”

Convo 8

(whispered to me during my sister’s wedding ceremony)

“I’m so excited for them to kiss!!!”

Convo 9

(While at my sister’s wedding reception, Remi busted his head open. I think he must have been delirious because Jarrett and I still have no idea what he was talking about! haha)

“Well, Daddy, now I’m at the hospital and you didn’t care about me! I was crying a minute ago and you didn’t even care!”

Convo 10

Me: Let me know if your forehead starts hurting and I can give you some medicine.

Remi: You’re the best medicine girl for me!

Convo 11

(We made a Valentine box at home. Remi’s looked like a steam engine and I wrote Remington’s Love Express on the front.)

“Instead of the Polar Express, it’s Remington’s Love Express? How fun & cute, Momma! I’ll remember that from now on!”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(Watching Downton Abbey)

“Is it over? Without a happy ending?”

Convo 2

Me: it’s not funny!

Remi: It is funny. A Little. None, actually none. 

Convo 3

“Is Ruby asleep? Ok, I’ll be quiet. I’ll be quiet as a rat and a mouse. Both.”

Convo 4

Me: What was that sound?

Remi: Maybe it was Jesus calling you…Saying, “I love you.”

Convo 5

(Remi sleeps with an essential oil diffuser in his room)

“Why didn’t you turn my confuser on?”

Convo 6

(Trying to brighten up a picture I took that turned out dark)

Me: which one (filter) should I choose?

Remi: ummm…you know…maybe something more stylish?

Convo 7

(Remi comes running into the room where I am)

“Mommy, Mommy! I gotta tell you something!! Daddy gave Ruby a bean and it was too hot and it make’d her cry!”

Convo 8

Jarrett: Hey, buddy, are you hungry yet?

Remi: Uh, not yet, Daddy, but thanks for askin’!

Convo 9

“Ruby, why don’t you stop that laughing so brother can have some quiet time?!”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(Jarrett and Remi in the deer stand, 6:15 am)

Remi: (spills goldfish on the floor) Daddy, quick! Go get Mayleigh! She will eat them!

Jarrett: Mayleigh is at home. We aren’t going to get her.

Remi: Fine. I’ll eat them.

Jarrett: No, I’ll throw them out.

Remi: Good thinkin’, Daddy! Deers love goldfish!

Convo 2

“You know what? You’re Wonder Woman, Momma. And I’m Super Man. And Daddy’s a baby Super Man.”

Convo 3

“You’re the most pwettiest girl in the world. And I’m happy Jesus made you. That’s what I’m thankful for!”

Convo 4

Me: LoLo’s almost here.

Remi: What?! Oh my God! Momma, I said Oh my God!

Me: Remi! We don’t say that!

Remi: Sorry!!! HOLY SMOKES! Is that better?

Convo 5

(Jarrett and I were play arguing)

Remi: Listen, we’re a family here!!

Convo 6

(very entertaining conversation between Remi and Siri on my phone)

Remi: I want you to get me a new game, please.

Siri: I’m not sure I know what you’re sayin.

Remi:I want a new game! Please!

Siri: I’m not sure I understand you, Kelsey

Remi: I’m not Kelsey! I’m Remington! I just want a new game. Please, please, please, please…

Siri: Ok. Here’s what I found on the web for “I want a new game please please please..”

Remi: Thank you so very much!

Siri: Just doing my job.

Convo 7

Jarrett: Remi, I don’t like getting a bad report. You’re supposed to be the man of the house when I’m gone. You listen to your Momma and do what she says.

Remi: Is that what you do? Do you do what Momma says?

Jarrett: I try.

Remi: But do you do it?

Convo 8

Jarrett: Hey, run get me a napkin real quick.

Remi: (long, dramatic groan)

Jarrett: What did you say?

Remi: I said “yes sir, yes sir, yes sir” like four or five times!