he said – she said

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Now that Remi isn’t the only quotable kid in the Lange household, I’ve decided to add little sister in the mix. Since we’re together the majority of the week while Remi is at school (with the exception of Mother’s Day Out), I’ve amassed quite a bit of humorous quotes. I’m still trying to work out the kinks for how to best share our collection of conversations in a way that flows and is easy to read. Hang tight–you’ll love the new spin on the Remi-isms! We’ll start with Ruby, move on to Remi & end with group conversations. Hope you enjoy!

Ruby: I got booboo, Daddy
J: Well, I’m not gonna kiss it right now
Ruby: Later, Dada?
J: Yeah, later.

Ruby: I need coffee, too! Where my coffee?

Me: Daddy’s sleepy
Ruby: No ma’am, Jose!

Me: Ruby, you made my lips look so pretty with lipstick!
Ruby: Dat my job.

Ruby: Mayleigh, be quiet. I rinsin’ Bubba’s hair.

Ruby: *screams*
Me: What’s wrong?
Ruby: I ‘cared of dark
Remi: Ruby, we’ve been over this TWENTY FIVE times!!

Ruby: I tired now.
Me: What do you want to do?
Ruby: Take a nap more.
Me: OK. You can rest while we are in the car.
Ruby: Noooo I not sleepy. I just being silly.

Ruby: I takin’ my baby to Bible study! It be funnnn!

Ruby: *asks my dad* You like Paw Patrol?

Ruby: Look at all dese babies I got.
Me: Awww so many babies to love and take care of!
Ruby: Dey’re killing me!

Ruby: Can I check da coon trap?
J: Yes, let’s go.
Ruby: I gotta brush my teef! Hang on!

———————-

Remi: You have Candy Crush?! That’s my favorite game!
Me: How do you know about Candy Crush?
Remi: Aunt Audrey and Uncle Johnny! Hello. Is anyone in my mind??

*we just had a conversation about doing things the first time you’re asked – trying new food*
Remi: My tastes buds are saying no but my body is saying yes.

Remi: *eating dinner* Listen. I don’t mean any harm but…this chicken…I just saw a booger on it.

Me: You only get a treat if you tee tee in the potty.
Remi: I’ll tee tee in the potty!!
Me: Ok but you’re already potty trained so you don’t get a treat.
Remi: Aww man but it was a good try!

Remi: That little giggly girl! I love my sister. All I want for Christmas is my family!

Remi: I would NEVER lie about getting a green dot because I know that would be double trouble!!

Remi: Momma, I try to get lots of green dots at school and that’s why I get in trouble at home because it takes all of my good out!

Remi: Why is she so whiny? Ugh! We need to get some manners into that girl! The way she’s been acting with me…it ain’t happenin’ any more!

———————–

*picking out nail polish colors*
Me: Oh, that will probably match your dress pretty good.
Ruby: Dat match my dress! It ‘pecial to me!
Remi: That matches her dress?
Me: Yes, it’s hanging in her closet if you want to go see.
Remi: I’m just not really in the spirit of walking around but I’ll go see.

Ruby: I do Playdoh!
Remi: Where?
Ruby: At my ‘chool!
Remi: I wish I got to do Playdoh at my school but Bubba’s past those days right, Momma?!

Me: Remi, did you get cold at school today?
Remi: No
Ruby: I got cold at ‘chool today!
Me: You did? Oh no!
Ruby: DAT TERRIBLE!

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Remi-isms

 

For some reason it feels like I just posted one of these…then I realized I hadn’t posted any Remi-isms since September. I guess life moves faster once you have a kid in school. At least that’s how it feels!

Convo 1

“I’m just looking around Longview because I kinda miss it.”

Convo 2

“Awww! She’s just so cute. I can’t stand her cuteness!”

Convo 3

Me: Why do you feel the need to tear stuff up?

Remi: I feel the need to tear stuff up because I’m a man.

Convo 4

(I was talking to Jarrett about how Remi had taken a nap the previous day)

Me: He was knocked out yesterday!

Remi: My daytime spirit was knocked out of me!

Convo 5

Me: Go potty.

Remi: I’m gonna hold it til I get to the deer stand with Daddy.

Me: No you’re not. Go potty.

Remi: I gotta stretch. My little arms and my little legs and my–

Me: I’m about to stretch out my hand on your little bottom!

Remi: (giggles) That sounds funny but it doesn’t feel funny!!

Convo 6

“Sometimes, at night, I do quiet poots.”

Convo 7

“I’m gonna call my arm pits, “pits.” Actually, I’m gonna call them “pits of joy.”

Convo 8

Remi: Honey was acting like my parents and not my grandparent.

Me: How?

Remi: Because she didn’t give me everything I wanted. She usually does. Honey wouldn’t let me have Max but Cheri bought it for me. So now Cheri’s being the good one. She was never ever like that.  (**for the record, I know this makes him seem terribly bratty but if you know his Honey and Poppa then you know he’s just preaching the truth- he usually does get what he wants! and as for his Aunt Cheri, the “good one” he’s referring to is because she always picks on him and acts silly!**)

Convo 9

[when Jesus was born..] “Did they have a Walmart? Chick-fil-A? Sprite?”

Convo 10

“I wish the pantry was my bedroom.”

Convo 11

“Sometimes you make me smile when I look at your face.”

Convo 12

“Ruby, you’re never gonna get to drink coffee– until you’re 14!”

Convo 13

Me: God gave you each other. Siblings are built in friends.

Remi: Um…Mom…we’re not the kind of kids you’re thinking about. We’re the kind of kids that like to play by ourselves.

Convo 14

Me: NO Ruby!

Remi: What does she have?

Me: Scissors!

Remi: OHHHH those are one of the final touchdowns for spankings!

Convo 15

Remi: Please do not hug me like that.

Me: Remington Lange, I am your mother. I brought you into this world & I can take you out of it! (How’s that for a movie line? ha!)

Remi: (not missing a beat!) No you can’t! And plus, Jesus brought me into this world!

Convo 16

Remi: How old are you, Momma?

Me: 26.

Remi: Then you should be in heaven by now.

Convo 17

“I thought this medicine was going to taste good but it actually tastes horrible. Some medicine just tastes horrible. Horrible, I say!”

Convo 18

“Momma, you just made me feel love in my heart.”

Remi-isms

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So sorry if some of these are redundant! I found them in a note from April in my phone and didn’t think I ever used them! I really need to change the picture for the Remi-isms posts since he’s in Kinder now and this pic is at least 2 years old…one day!

 

Convo 1

Me: I’m worn slap out!

Remi: That’s a bad word.

Me: Slap?

Remi: Yeah.

Me: Oh…sorry. I didn’t know.

Remi: It’s ok. Everyone makes mistakes.

Convo 2

(while shopping for Ruby’s birthday party a few months back)

Me: Let me know if you see anything with palm trees or flamingos.

Remi: PALM TREE!

Me: Where?!

Remi: I was just trickin’ you!

Me: That wasn’t nice!

Remi: But it was funny!

Convo 3

Remi: That kinda looks like palm trees.

Me: You’re right. It does.

Remi: Hey! We should get that just to shake things up at Ruby’s birthday party!

Convo 4

“My little head is full of smarties!”

Convo 5

(after Jarrett hung up the phone because of a bad connection)

“I can’t believe he hung up on his own son!!”

Convo 6

(I’m sure you’ve heard the story of me having to bring Remi a second lunch to the school because he decided to eat the one I packed him for breakfast. I sent the second lunch in a brown paper sack. He pulled the paper sack out as soon as he got in the car that afternoon..)

“For goodness sake, I put this in my backpack sneakily so my teacher wouldn’t throw it away!”

Convo 7

“Mrs. Townsend, I’m so tired. I really want to go home and snuggle up in my sheets on the couch and watch Netflix on the TV. Please.”

Convo 8

(said to my brother-in-law, Dakota, while he was spraying off the carport with water)

Remi: You better not even think about spraying me with that, KoKo!

Dakota: What are you gonna do about it?

Remi: I’m gonna tell my Momma!

Dakota: Oh yeah? And what’s she gonna do?

Remi: She’s gonna give you a spankin’!

Convo 9

Remi: Momma, I wanna sing you a new song so you’ll remember it.

Me: After dinner, ok?

Remi: No, I can eat and sing.

Me: You can’t talk with your mouth full.

Jarrett: Mamaw told me a long time ago that you’re not supposed to sing at the dinner table. You know why?

Remi: Why?

Jarrett: You’ll marry a crazy woman. I should have listened to her.

Remi: Daddy! You think my mom is crazy but she’s not!!

Convo 10

(on the phone with my mother-in-law, aka Honey)

“Honey, I’m gonna go where no one can hear our words.”

(I follow him in his room to see what on earth he’s talking about)

“Ummmm…Mom, can you give me and Honey some privity?”

Convo 11

“…And thank you for Gladewater. And Longview. And for letting us live where my Daddy grew up. Amen.”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Me: Remi, are you ready for the Shark Week party?

Remi: Yeah! Text that!

Convo 2

“Ruby! Are you naked?! You sly dog!!”

Convo 3

“I got a lot of (dance) moves back in the day…when I was four.”

Convo 4

“I’ve seen all the Scooby Doo’s. Pretty creepy, eh?”

Convo 5

“Thanks, Mom. You make my life feel a little bit better.”

Convo 6

“Momma, you have to tell me if you go somewhere. That scares me. I’m not trying to be mean, OK?”

Convo 7

(sent to me by my sister-in-law, Audrey)

“Aunt Audrey, I have to ask you sumfin’. One day, will you buy me some gum? That would be very helpful to me.”

Convo 8

Remi: What’s Wylder’s dad’s name?

Me: Billy.

Remi: BILLY?! And Jodi?! That sounds like a cartoon!!

Convo 9

“Did you know Dottie got stung by a stunk?” (translation: My mom’s dog got sprayed by a skunk! haha!)

Convo 10

Remi: Do I have bones in my tummy? (I did my best explanation)…then how does my tummy live like this?

Convo 11

Remi: Mom, my movie’s not starting.

Me: Remington….

Remi: OH. It’s starting now. I know. You actually have to give it a minute!

 

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(looking at a bruised banana that I promised him would still taste fine)

“I don’t think I trust you, banana…”

Convo 2

Remi: Ruby spent the night with Honey? Away from you? I don’t like that idea! Babies are not big enough to stay with Honey and Poppa!

Me: But you used to stay with Honey and Poppa when you were a baby.

Remi: Well, that’s not good either! Well, it can be okay when mommies are sick but it cannot be okay if mommy is not sick!

Convo 3

“I never knew little babies would be so much trouble.”

Convo 4

“If you ever need anyone to vacuum, just ask me. I’ll do it for you. Cause I’ll do anything for you. And for the floor…to get that floor clean!”

Convo 5

(Remi feeding Ruby)

“Mom, quit distracting her!!”

Convo 6

“Ruby, sometimes I think you cry just to get some attention!”

Convo 7

“I was a baby and then I grew up a little bit and then when I was 3 you told me, ‘This is the earth. This is where you’re gonna live…in Longview.'”

Convo 8

Me: I need you to do something for me real quick then you can go back to your hiding spot.

Remi: This is not a hiding spot! It’s a pouting spot!

Convo 9

Me: What did you do with it??

Remi: What?

Me: The spanking spoon! Where is it?

Remi: I haven’t touched it in like 40 days!!!

Convo 10

(I had convinced Remi that Spring Break was for spring cleaning. He was gung-ho for a day or two and then when I asked him to do something…)

Remi:  I thought it was Spring Break…

Me: It is.

Remi: Then why am I not getting a break?

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Remi: Momma, I gotta secret. You can’t tell anybody. I was sleepy at school. I missed my Momma & Daddy.

Me: Awww that’s so sweet! We missed you too!

Remi: (snuggles up next to me & sighs) I’m glad I just have my underpants on and nothing else.

Convo 2

“I think I just broke my elbow and cracked my knee! For real!”

Convo 3

Me: Are you going to drive Ruby around when you get a car?

Remi: YEAH! To the beach! Or maybe Target.

Convo 4

“This is gonna be greater than chocolate milk! Actually, I love chocolate milk very much…”

Convo 5

(Ruby laughed and coughed at the same time)

Me: What are you doing, Ruby?

Remi: She’s getting some energy in her throat.

Me: Oh?

Remi: No, Mom. For real.

Convo 6

Remi: I’m a wet blanket, Mom.

Me: (laughing uncontrollably) Why are you a wet blanket??

Remi: Because that’s what [Aunt] Cheri says!

Convo 7

(Remi taking a bath)

“Belly button, do your job to get bathed!”

Convo 8

(whispered to me during my sister’s wedding ceremony)

“I’m so excited for them to kiss!!!”

Convo 9

(While at my sister’s wedding reception, Remi busted his head open. I think he must have been delirious because Jarrett and I still have no idea what he was talking about! haha)

“Well, Daddy, now I’m at the hospital and you didn’t care about me! I was crying a minute ago and you didn’t even care!”

Convo 10

Me: Let me know if your forehead starts hurting and I can give you some medicine.

Remi: You’re the best medicine girl for me!

Convo 11

(We made a Valentine box at home. Remi’s looked like a steam engine and I wrote Remington’s Love Express on the front.)

“Instead of the Polar Express, it’s Remington’s Love Express? How fun & cute, Momma! I’ll remember that from now on!”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(Watching Downton Abbey)

“Is it over? Without a happy ending?”

Convo 2

Me: it’s not funny!

Remi: It is funny. A Little. None, actually none. 

Convo 3

“Is Ruby asleep? Ok, I’ll be quiet. I’ll be quiet as a rat and a mouse. Both.”

Convo 4

Me: What was that sound?

Remi: Maybe it was Jesus calling you…Saying, “I love you.”

Convo 5

(Remi sleeps with an essential oil diffuser in his room)

“Why didn’t you turn my confuser on?”

Convo 6

(Trying to brighten up a picture I took that turned out dark)

Me: which one (filter) should I choose?

Remi: ummm…you know…maybe something more stylish?

Convo 7

(Remi comes running into the room where I am)

“Mommy, Mommy! I gotta tell you something!! Daddy gave Ruby a bean and it was too hot and it make’d her cry!”

Convo 8

Jarrett: Hey, buddy, are you hungry yet?

Remi: Uh, not yet, Daddy, but thanks for askin’!

Convo 9

“Ruby, why don’t you stop that laughing so brother can have some quiet time?!”