Me: (talking to my sister) It’s impossible to do anything with kids just so you know what you’re getting yourself into!
Remi: You’ll see, AA when you get that baby out of your tum-tum. It’s all troubleness!
(Talking to Ruby) “will you marry me, my lady?”
“I’m kissing my money before I give it to you because I’m gonna miss it.”
Remi: On Thursday im gonna be a policeman …on Saturday a Doctor…on Tuesday a firefighter! I’m gonna be a nurse and I’m gonna be a daddy every day. I’m gonna play with my kids and I’m gonna kiss my woman.
Me: Your woman?!
Remi: Uh huh. that I’m married to. And I’m gonna sing a song to my kids when they’re sleepy. I’m gonna find a pretty woman to marry and if that pretty woman finds me I’m just gonna be done findin’ womans.
“Ruby, why are you being so hateful to me?”
Me: Ruby slept all night without waking up! Can you believe it?!
Remi: You know why? Because I prayed she would!
Me: Thank you so much, Remi!
Remi: Don’t thank me!! thank Jesus!
(This was during a very serious & drawn out bedtime conversation and I was so annoyed with him for trying to say up and saying he was scared.)
“When I’m scared I shake. I shake badder than maracas”
(Same conversation…he makes some valid points! Lol)
“Well, I won’t be scared in our new house because I been there like 40 days and I see it builded. But I don’t know how this house was builded so I’m just scared and I don’t feel safe.”
I picked Remi up to carry him to his bed. He tooted and I tried to ignore it because I wanted him to wind down for bed. A second later he muttered “that was awkward.” And of course neither one of us could control our laughter!
“Hey! What’s this situation?!”
“Does everyone in the whole wide world have snapchats?”
Me: Remi, come here.
Remi: why do girls always want me?
“I always have bad days and I only had one good day. And it was on Christmas when I was two.”
(Remi noticed that I bought applesauce cups instead of the usual squeeze pouches)
“Mom! Do you see how big I am?! I don’t eat applesauce out of a cup! That’s for babies!”
“When she spits her paci out, I am not happy with her!”
“Ruby! You have to stop doing this! You’re a big girl!”
“Momma, listen, I know I’m not an adult. But. Ugh. Nevermind. I’m not gonna say it…
…Well, I thought maybe Joseph was dead. But you said he’s in heaven. So that means he’s alive!”
“My eyes are kinda minty.”
“I don’t wanna get married. I just am. That’s how Jesus makes the world.”
“Did you know that rats have nest-es? They make their nests bigger…bigger than a monster, I guess.”
“I feel like I’m a man because I have money and a hat.”
Me: Those are cute socks!
Remi: Can you imagine me wearing them?
“I’m gonna pray for Santa to bring a baby doll to Ruby. But we don’t pray to Santa!”
“Hey! I want those green muscle things (hand weights) so I can be strong like Jesus!”
“My tummy is like, ‘Yeah. I’m done. I’m full.'”
“I wanna read the story about Adam and the girl human that Jesus made.”