Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Me: Remi, are you ready for the Shark Week party?

Remi: Yeah! Text that!

Convo 2

“Ruby! Are you naked?! You sly dog!!”

Convo 3

“I got a lot of (dance) moves back in the day…when I was four.”

Convo 4

“I’ve seen all the Scooby Doo’s. Pretty creepy, eh?”

Convo 5

“Thanks, Mom. You make my life feel a little bit better.”

Convo 6

“Momma, you have to tell me if you go somewhere. That scares me. I’m not trying to be mean, OK?”

Convo 7

(sent to me by my sister-in-law, Audrey)

“Aunt Audrey, I have to ask you sumfin’. One day, will you buy me some gum? That would be very helpful to me.”

Convo 8

Remi: What’s Wylder’s dad’s name?

Me: Billy.

Remi: BILLY?! And Jodi?! That sounds like a cartoon!!

Convo 9

“Did you know Dottie got stung by a stunk?” (translation: My mom’s dog got sprayed by a skunk! haha!)

Convo 10

Remi: Do I have bones in my tummy? (I did my best explanation)…then how does my tummy live like this?

Convo 11

Remi: Mom, my movie’s not starting.

Me: Remington….

Remi: OH. It’s starting now. I know. You actually have to give it a minute!

 

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Me: (talking to my sister) It’s impossible to do anything with kids just so you know what you’re getting yourself into!

Remi: You’ll see, AA when you get that baby out of your tum-tum. It’s all troubleness!

Convo 2

(Talking to Ruby) “will you marry me, my lady?”

Convo 3

“I’m kissing my money before I give it to you because I’m gonna miss it.”

Convo 4

Remi: On Thursday im gonna be a policeman …on Saturday a Doctor…on Tuesday a firefighter! I’m gonna be a nurse and I’m gonna be a daddy every day. I’m gonna play with my kids and I’m gonna kiss my woman.

Me: Your woman?!
Remi: Uh huh. that I’m married to. And I’m gonna sing a song to my kids when they’re sleepy. I’m gonna find a pretty woman to marry and if that pretty woman finds me I’m just gonna be done findin’ womans. 

Convo 5

“Ruby, why are you being so hateful to me?”

Convo 6

Me: Ruby slept all night without waking up! Can you believe it?!

Remi: You know why? Because I prayed she would!

Me: Thank you so much, Remi!

Remi: Don’t thank me!! thank Jesus!

Convo 7

(This was during a very serious & drawn out bedtime conversation and I was so annoyed with him for trying to say up and saying he was scared.)

“When I’m scared I shake. I shake badder than maracas”

Convo 8

(Same conversation…he makes some valid points! Lol)

“Well, I won’t be scared in our new house because I been there like 40 days and I see it builded. But I don’t know how this house was builded so I’m just scared and I don’t feel safe.”

Convo 9

I picked Remi up to carry him to his bed. He tooted and I tried to ignore it because I wanted him to wind down for bed. A second later he muttered “that was awkward.” And of course neither one of us could control our laughter!

Convo 10

“Hey! What’s this situation?!”

Convo 11

“Does everyone in the whole wide world have snapchats?”

Convo 12

Me: Remi, come here. 

Remi: why do girls always want me?

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(looking at a bruised banana that I promised him would still taste fine)

“I don’t think I trust you, banana…”

Convo 2

Remi: Ruby spent the night with Honey? Away from you? I don’t like that idea! Babies are not big enough to stay with Honey and Poppa!

Me: But you used to stay with Honey and Poppa when you were a baby.

Remi: Well, that’s not good either! Well, it can be okay when mommies are sick but it cannot be okay if mommy is not sick!

Convo 3

“I never knew little babies would be so much trouble.”

Convo 4

“If you ever need anyone to vacuum, just ask me. I’ll do it for you. Cause I’ll do anything for you. And for the floor…to get that floor clean!”

Convo 5

(Remi feeding Ruby)

“Mom, quit distracting her!!”

Convo 6

“Ruby, sometimes I think you cry just to get some attention!”

Convo 7

“I was a baby and then I grew up a little bit and then when I was 3 you told me, ‘This is the earth. This is where you’re gonna live…in Longview.'”

Convo 8

Me: I need you to do something for me real quick then you can go back to your hiding spot.

Remi: This is not a hiding spot! It’s a pouting spot!

Convo 9

Me: What did you do with it??

Remi: What?

Me: The spanking spoon! Where is it?

Remi: I haven’t touched it in like 40 days!!!

Convo 10

(I had convinced Remi that Spring Break was for spring cleaning. He was gung-ho for a day or two and then when I asked him to do something…)

Remi:Β  I thought it was Spring Break…

Me: It is.

Remi: Then why am I not getting a break?

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

Remi: Momma, I gotta secret. You can’t tell anybody. I was sleepy at school. I missed my Momma & Daddy.

Me: Awww that’s so sweet! We missed you too!

Remi: (snuggles up next to me & sighs) I’m glad I just have my underpants on and nothing else.

Convo 2

“I think I just broke my elbow and cracked my knee! For real!”

Convo 3

Me: Are you going to drive Ruby around when you get a car?

Remi: YEAH! To the beach! Or maybe Target.

Convo 4

“This is gonna be greater than chocolate milk! Actually, I love chocolate milk very much…”

Convo 5

(Ruby laughed and coughed at the same time)

Me: What are you doing, Ruby?

Remi: She’s getting some energy in her throat.

Me: Oh?

Remi: No, Mom. For real.

Convo 6

Remi: I’m a wet blanket, Mom.

Me: (laughing uncontrollably) Why are you a wet blanket??

Remi: Because that’s what [Aunt] Cheri says!

Convo 7

(Remi taking a bath)

“Belly button, do your job to get bathed!”

Convo 8

(whispered to me during my sister’s wedding ceremony)

“I’m so excited for them to kiss!!!”

Convo 9

(While at my sister’s wedding reception, Remi busted his head open. I think he must have been delirious because Jarrett and I still have no idea what he was talking about! haha)

“Well, Daddy, now I’m at the hospital and you didn’t care about me! I was crying a minute ago and you didn’t even care!”

Convo 10

Me: Let me know if your forehead starts hurting and I can give you some medicine.

Remi: You’re the best medicine girl for me!

Convo 11

(We made a Valentine box at home. Remi’s looked like a steam engine and I wrote Remington’s Love Express on the front.)

“Instead of the Polar Express, it’s Remington’s Love Express? How fun & cute, Momma! I’ll remember that from now on!”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(Watching Downton Abbey)

“Is it over? Without a happy ending?”

Convo 2

Me: it’s not funny!

Remi: It is funny. A Little. None, actually none. 

Convo 3

“Is Ruby asleep? Ok, I’ll be quiet. I’ll be quiet as a rat and a mouse. Both.”

Convo 4

Me: What was that sound?

Remi: Maybe it was Jesus calling you…Saying, “I love you.”

Convo 5

(Remi sleeps with an essential oil diffuser in his room)

“Why didn’t you turn my confuser on?”

Convo 6

(Trying to brighten up a picture I took that turned out dark)

Me: which one (filter) should I choose?

Remi: ummm…you know…maybe something more stylish?

Convo 7

(Remi comes running into the room where I am)

“Mommy, Mommy! I gotta tell you something!! Daddy gave Ruby a bean and it was too hot and it make’d her cry!”

Convo 8

Jarrett: Hey, buddy, are you hungry yet?

Remi: Uh, not yet, Daddy, but thanks for askin’!

Convo 9

“Ruby, why don’t you stop that laughing so brother can have some quiet time?!”

Remi-isms

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Convo 1

(Jarrett and Remi in the deer stand, 6:15 am)

Remi: (spills goldfish on the floor) Daddy, quick! Go get Mayleigh! She will eat them!

Jarrett: Mayleigh is at home. We aren’t going to get her.

Remi: Fine. I’ll eat them.

Jarrett: No, I’ll throw them out.

Remi: Good thinkin’, Daddy! Deers love goldfish!

Convo 2

“You know what? You’re Wonder Woman, Momma. And I’m Super Man. And Daddy’s a baby Super Man.”

Convo 3

“You’re the most pwettiest girl in the world. And I’m happy Jesus made you. That’s what I’m thankful for!”

Convo 4

Me: LoLo’s almost here.

Remi: What?! Oh my God! Momma, I said Oh my God!

Me: Remi! We don’t say that!

Remi: Sorry!!! HOLY SMOKES! Is that better?

Convo 5

(Jarrett and I were play arguing)

Remi: Listen, we’re a family here!!

Convo 6

(very entertaining conversation between Remi and Siri on my phone)

Remi: I want you to get me a new game, please.

Siri: I’m not sure I know what you’re sayin.

Remi:I want a new game! Please!

Siri: I’m not sure I understand you, Kelsey

Remi: I’m not Kelsey! I’m Remington! I just want a new game. Please, please, please, please…

Siri: Ok. Here’s what I found on the web for “I want a new game please please please..”

Remi: Thank you so very much!

Siri: Just doing my job.

Convo 7

Jarrett: Remi, I don’t like getting a bad report. You’re supposed to be the man of the house when I’m gone. You listen to your Momma and do what she says.

Remi: Is that what you do? Do you do what Momma says?

Jarrett: I try.

Remi: But do you do it?

Convo 8

Jarrett: Hey, run get me a napkin real quick.

Remi: (long, dramatic groan)

Jarrett: What did you say?

Remi: I said “yes sir, yes sir, yes sir” like four or five times!